Locked Door
Violet was locked in!"I should never have come to this terrible place," she thought to herself.Because she had been so fed up at home,Violet had slyly sneaked into a dark mysterious cave,which belonged to a band of scary,horrible, mean thieves.
The cave was full of the most precious jewellery and treasure, which they had stolen. Suddenly, something grabbed her by the neck and dragged her to a dark basement. She was so FRIGHTENED.
Violet came face to face with a small, pretty girl, not much older than her."What are you doing her? You could've been caught by them!" she said.Violet told her everything. Nevertheless,The pretty girl, who was called Subrina, helped Violet plan her escape.
Just as they finished chatting,someone entered the cave and spotted them plotting.The robber snatched them and they were in deep deep trouble.They awoke to find themselves chained. But... Subrina had a clever plan!
She unchained them, they took some treasure and ran for their lives.They had truimphed.Violet and Subrina had escaped!
Saturday, 31 October 2009
Thursday, 29 October 2009
Up all night
It was a cold windy night and the wind was whistling through the trees. My mum, Melanie and my dad, Tom had gone to sleep and I was sat in my bed shaking. I was scared that night because I watched one of the scariest films ever made!
My mum told me not to, but I said ,“I’ll be fine.” I was wrong way, way wrong. Consequently I sat staring at the wall like it was the most amazing thing on earth. I heard drunk men cheering because their football team had won . Because it was a school night, I knew I was going to get into trouble.
All of a sudden my baby brother, George began to cry like always. Quickly, foot steps gathered I hid under my blanket then remembered it was my mum. Slam! My window, witch I forgot to close, shut. There was a rain drop trickling down the window. Suddenly there was a big crash of thunder and a flash of lightning.
Every thing stopped and I then heard a scatter across the floor and there was more thunder more lightning and the rain began to poor. To make things worse I fell out of bed and smashed my head the floor. I knew I would never get to sleep.
My mum told me not to, but I said ,“I’ll be fine.” I was wrong way, way wrong. Consequently I sat staring at the wall like it was the most amazing thing on earth. I heard drunk men cheering because their football team had won . Because it was a school night, I knew I was going to get into trouble.
All of a sudden my baby brother, George began to cry like always. Quickly, foot steps gathered I hid under my blanket then remembered it was my mum. Slam! My window, witch I forgot to close, shut. There was a rain drop trickling down the window. Suddenly there was a big crash of thunder and a flash of lightning.
Every thing stopped and I then heard a scatter across the floor and there was more thunder more lightning and the rain began to poor. To make things worse I fell out of bed and smashed my head the floor. I knew I would never get to sleep.
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
The Locked Door
Sasha, a courageous 14 year old girl, was walking her dog one Saturday morning. She wore a blue top with a yellow smiley face on, a grey cardigan, blue skinny jeans and her black boots. She loved and cared for her dog ,Sally, and took it for walks every day. There was something strange though, whenever Sasha and Sally went for a walk they would pass a great big huge warehouse. When this would happen Sally would whimper and run away. Sally was a strong dog compered to her owner, this meant that whenever Sally would run she would pull Sasha with her along the street. Meaning Sasha would never get to look at the warehouse.
But this morning Sasha asked herself weather she should hold Sally and take a look. So,
But this morning Sasha asked herself weather she should hold Sally and take a look. So,
when they were both out for a walk Sasha did what she said she would do. Sasha got to look at the warehouse and saw a door! No one saw people go in there but every day there would be a mad rush of lorries coming out. " Maybe there could be sweets inside, paint or maybe even animals." Sasha was determined to see what was inside that warehouse, no matter how scared Sally was.
So Sasha pushed open the door and then Sally ran away, but Sasha didn't go after Sally because she was too focused, on getting the door open, but it wouldn't open! She found a key on the floor. It looked as f it had just been chucked there. She tried to open the door with it but it would not budge. No the key was for something much more valuable.
"I'll keep this key for later." She muttered.
Sasha saw a dusty window and some crates. She stacked the crates under the window. When she reached the window she wiped the dust off and looked inside.
"I'll keep this key for later." She muttered.
Sasha saw a dusty window and some crates. She stacked the crates under the window. When she reached the window she wiped the dust off and looked inside.
There was no body there but things were moving, by themselves. Some of the things were flying,but they were all glistening in the light.
BOO!!! A loud thump crashed against the window and knocked Sasha of the crates. Something swept her up on her feet and said..."If I show my face, do you promise not to scream or any thing?"
"Yes I do."
So then out of the blue a ghost appeared! It was sort of transparent, but you could still see it.
"Look kid we run a thief warehouse it is not safe for you here. Now run along."
Speechlessly Sasha ran down the road out of sight. She was petrified and didn't know what to do. So, Sasha went down back to the battered old warehouse and waited for the mad rush of lorries.
She waited and waited, it was so boring for her.
Finally, after two hours of waiting, the lorries came. One drove out and then Sasha grabbed on to the back of the lorry. She then grabbed the key out her pocket and opened the lorry door. Sasha was thrilled. She jumped in. When she did so she jumped on jewelery lots of it . The truck was full of it. The ghosts must have been stealing it, by going invisible!
"The ghost must have been right."Sasha whispered. But it was not quiet enough!
There was a noise from the front of the lorry. She had been caught!
Suddenly, the ghost from earlier, swooped down and grabbed Sasha. She quickly turned invisible too. They jumped out the moving lorry and then something lifted therm into the air. They were flying!
Then all of a sudden they were back in Sasha's bedroom!
"I thought I told you stay away from us we are not good. do not get your self messed up with our business. One last thing before I go do not tell any one else about this do you promise?"
"Yes. But all of it is so exciting."
"NO it is dangerous!!! Now stay away!" The ghost shouted,and with that he flew away.
She never spoke of that warehouse again! As for the walks, well, let's just say she found a different route. She never got another visit from the ghost again. That is what was behind that locked door though.
She waited and waited, it was so boring for her.
Finally, after two hours of waiting, the lorries came. One drove out and then Sasha grabbed on to the back of the lorry. She then grabbed the key out her pocket and opened the lorry door. Sasha was thrilled. She jumped in. When she did so she jumped on jewelery lots of it . The truck was full of it. The ghosts must have been stealing it, by going invisible!
"The ghost must have been right."Sasha whispered. But it was not quiet enough!
There was a noise from the front of the lorry. She had been caught!
Suddenly, the ghost from earlier, swooped down and grabbed Sasha. She quickly turned invisible too. They jumped out the moving lorry and then something lifted therm into the air. They were flying!
Then all of a sudden they were back in Sasha's bedroom!
"I thought I told you stay away from us we are not good. do not get your self messed up with our business. One last thing before I go do not tell any one else about this do you promise?"
"Yes. But all of it is so exciting."
"NO it is dangerous!!! Now stay away!" The ghost shouted,and with that he flew away.
She never spoke of that warehouse again! As for the walks, well, let's just say she found a different route. She never got another visit from the ghost again. That is what was behind that locked door though.
Up all night
I ignore Mum's call. My new Lego Power Miners Crystal Sweeper is busy collecting crystals and Rock Monsters. I wish my Crystal Sweeper would sweep up Mum. She calls again. We are having stuffed marrow for dinner. But I still run down the stairs.
I wolf down my dinner, because I want to go trick or treating. I transform myself and exit my house.
At last I snuggle into the burrow of my comforting covers. Glancing at my clock, it says 10:39 pm. I hear a quiet purring noise. It seems to be coming from under my bed. Peering into the dark expanse under my bed, I notice a werewolf mask next to my football. I reassure myself that it is probably just my Halloween mask. But I remember that I was a vampire today, not a werewolf. I check under my bed again; this time the eyes are shining rubies.
Staring at me, it growls. Pushing my head out of the way, it emerges from underneath the bed. A brown, furry beast towers above me. It shrieks again.
I race like a Bugatti towards my Mum's bedroom, barricading the door. Mum is not there.
So I throw myself out of the window, landing in a bush. Scrambling out of the ditch, I kick the front door open. I enter the living room, switching on every light. I grab my iPod and put on the headphones.
I jerk awake and see that the DVD player now says 7:29 am. I creep upstairs and check under my bed. No werewolf. "Did you sleep okay?" asks Mum. "I slept fine," I answer a bit too quickly. I scoff down my breakfast.
When I go to bed that night, I swear I hear a faint, yet recognisable purr.
I wolf down my dinner, because I want to go trick or treating. I transform myself and exit my house.
At last I snuggle into the burrow of my comforting covers. Glancing at my clock, it says 10:39 pm. I hear a quiet purring noise. It seems to be coming from under my bed. Peering into the dark expanse under my bed, I notice a werewolf mask next to my football. I reassure myself that it is probably just my Halloween mask. But I remember that I was a vampire today, not a werewolf. I check under my bed again; this time the eyes are shining rubies.
Staring at me, it growls. Pushing my head out of the way, it emerges from underneath the bed. A brown, furry beast towers above me. It shrieks again.
I race like a Bugatti towards my Mum's bedroom, barricading the door. Mum is not there.
So I throw myself out of the window, landing in a bush. Scrambling out of the ditch, I kick the front door open. I enter the living room, switching on every light. I grab my iPod and put on the headphones.
I jerk awake and see that the DVD player now says 7:29 am. I creep upstairs and check under my bed. No werewolf. "Did you sleep okay?" asks Mum. "I slept fine," I answer a bit too quickly. I scoff down my breakfast.
When I go to bed that night, I swear I hear a faint, yet recognisable purr.
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Mary in France
Long time ago there was a young girl and she lived in London. People called her silly Mary. For her summer holiday she decided to go to France. She took the ferry. It was lovely. She wanted to have the time of her life in France. But for her surprise when she entered France people called her ugly. She hid her face and sadly took a coach to the beach. She stared at the beach, it was absolutely beautiful. When she got off the coach she bought herself a peach. She loved the area so much that she forgot about everybody. Even at the beach people were making fun out her. She heard people calling her spotty. She burst out in tears and run to the toilets. While she was there she met a really nice lady. She looked at Mary’s face and didn’t want to spoil it. “Cheer up little girl, if you keep your face like that for long it will stay like that” said the kind lady. Mary laughed. “You defiantly know how to cheer someone up” Mary said like a baby. “I’m from London as well, I’ve been through all this, what you have to do is show how you feel through something your good at” She explained. “Thanks” said Mary. She wandered around thinking what to do and what it would contain. Eureka she had got it, Mary was a brilliant singer. She went straight to work. She stayed up day and night working on the song; the pen she was using was the size of her finger. She finally got the song ready. Next she headed to the salon to look good. She finally arrived in the centre of Paris. Even though she went to the salon everybody laughed at her, so she tried looking for a hood. Her music started playing and she started to sing her song. Everyone loved her song and everyone started joining in. When Mary finished her song everybody cheered, someone even hit a gong. She saw the lady who gave her advise and said thanks a lot. The lady smiled and said your welcome. Mary played in the nice beach, and said “I love this holiday, I’ll never forget it, and I want to buy myself a lovely hand made French pot”.
The end
The end
Saturday, 24 October 2009
Up all night
"Sophia, bed time" My Mum shouted to me from downstairs, "tomorrow is a big day, you need lots of sleep." Indeed tomorrow was a big day, it was my birthday tomorrow and I couldn't wait!
"Mum, do I have to go to bed now?" I moaned, slouching along out of my unusually tidy room and onto the landing to look at her."Yes you do, we still have lots of things to do and I need to get the party food ready for your party so of you trot" she said looking at me with a stern face.
"all right, I'll try to go to sleep but it's not my fault if I don't get any sleep."
I went downstairs and said good night to my parents and my dogs, Snoopy and Ella. As I walked upstairs my annoying 6 year-old brother sneaked up behind me and jumped on my back! "oi!! What on earth did you do that for you idiot!" I hollered at him, almost spitting in his face. I stormed up-stairs and slammed my bedroom door shut with a loud BANG.
When I was in my room I started to feel guilty for hurting his feelings. I started to think about apologising to him while I was getting my Hello kitty pyjamas on and while brushing my teeth.
When I got in bed I started to fell really exited about tomorrow and I thought about all the people coming to my party and me throwing up in the middle of the party. I turned over to try to get to sleep but ten minutes later I was still awake! I went downstairs and found my mum and dad lying on the sofa drinking wine and watching one of our romantic films .
I managed to go back upstairs without them hearing or seeing me. When I got into my room I turned on my bedside lamp and read my favourite book, The mystery of the vampire slayers for at least two hours. When I finished it I went downstairs to see what time it was and it was, wait for it, 11:55!!!! I had gone to bed at 9:55 but my parents where probably asleep by now so I thought to myself "why don't I have a midnight feast." So I went to the kitchen, opened the fridge and took out a large chunk of chocolate, got a glass of milk and went back upstairs to eat and drink it.
By the time I had finished that I was really tired but I couldn't go to sleep!!!!! So I went downstairs and turned the TV on and went on the PlayStation - playing my favourite kind of game, horse racing. By this time it was 05:05am and it was starting to get lighter plus I was starting to get tired so I went upstairs and fell sleep.
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
A New Beginning
Once upon a time noo that's not how my story is going to start it's going to start like this....
"La la la la la la"said my little sister Emily very annoyingly."Stop annoying me you twit."i shouted at my puny midgety 8 year old sister.She is quite brainy (that's a reason to make fun of her) but she is very annoying.She has curly ,back-length ,Blondie hair.She is very short for her age (That's what my dad says, i know he likes me more than the twit ,i can tell)but she's the tallest in her class because her class are full of midgets.I'm 14 years old.But that's sisters for you because I'm the tallest in my class but my class have the tallest people in the school (Including me!)."Shut up you stupid silly Reindeer Serena!"My sister shouted it very loud that my dad heard and came in the room."Why are you two arguing again you just argued lets see....(he's checking his watch because he timed us)53 seconds ago!"Screamed my dad.We could tell he was fed up with us fighting over and over again."If i hear another peep out of you two I'm going to leave you and your poor mother if that's what i have to do!"Shouted my dad sternly.We know that's a threat but it sounded like he really meant it.
What a shocking day this was...Today (sniff sniff) mum and dad had a HUGE argument out of nowhere and dad meant what he said yesterday well I'll tell you how it started.Me and Emily had a little quarrel and dad smacked Emily on the cheek and he just gave me a borrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnggggggg lecture.Mum had a go at him for smacking Emily and not me and for threatening us yesterday.So he remembered what he said and left the room and brang a HHHHUUUUUGGGGGGGEEEEEEE suitcase stuffed full of his stuff.Mum was shocked that she dropped a mug on her foot and it was bleeding but she didn't care.She just cared about her only husband was leaving her."Linda why did you drop that mug on your foot you clumsy bunny."said my dad like nothing was even happening.Everything was silence for a few seconds."Why are you all shocked,remember Emily and Serena Geoffrey."He said in a very nice way ."Remember what i said,another quarrel and I'm out of here."Said my dad sounding more serious than ever.Suddenly my mum came out of shock and went to give dad a huge kiss on the lips (well it was more like a snog)and wished him good luck.I can't believe she didn't care."Honey I know they are very naughty but you should go with your word."She said sounding the least bit bothered.Then she went to give him another snog this time even longer.He promised to come and visit but he thinks its time for a change.
Now we have to live in grandma's house it's very different because we never stayed there before because mum didn't trust us.Its a New Beginning.Her house is a very small squashy house but i like it.We've gotten used to not seeing dad.He sent us a picture of him and his girlfriend.At the back it said she is 2 month's pregnant.We ripped it and put it in a fire.Me and Emily agreed we have nothing to do with him.We are nice to each other now.School is not so bad our topic this term is to join junior word voodoo!
"La la la la la la"said my little sister Emily very annoyingly."Stop annoying me you twit."i shouted at my puny midgety 8 year old sister.She is quite brainy (that's a reason to make fun of her) but she is very annoying.She has curly ,back-length ,Blondie hair.She is very short for her age (That's what my dad says, i know he likes me more than the twit ,i can tell)but she's the tallest in her class because her class are full of midgets.I'm 14 years old.But that's sisters for you because I'm the tallest in my class but my class have the tallest people in the school (Including me!)."Shut up you stupid silly Reindeer Serena!"My sister shouted it very loud that my dad heard and came in the room."Why are you two arguing again you just argued lets see....(he's checking his watch because he timed us)53 seconds ago!"Screamed my dad.We could tell he was fed up with us fighting over and over again."If i hear another peep out of you two I'm going to leave you and your poor mother if that's what i have to do!"Shouted my dad sternly.We know that's a threat but it sounded like he really meant it.
What a shocking day this was...Today (sniff sniff) mum and dad had a HUGE argument out of nowhere and dad meant what he said yesterday well I'll tell you how it started.Me and Emily had a little quarrel and dad smacked Emily on the cheek and he just gave me a borrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnggggggg lecture.Mum had a go at him for smacking Emily and not me and for threatening us yesterday.So he remembered what he said and left the room and brang a HHHHUUUUUGGGGGGGEEEEEEE suitcase stuffed full of his stuff.Mum was shocked that she dropped a mug on her foot and it was bleeding but she didn't care.She just cared about her only husband was leaving her."Linda why did you drop that mug on your foot you clumsy bunny."said my dad like nothing was even happening.Everything was silence for a few seconds."Why are you all shocked,remember Emily and Serena Geoffrey."He said in a very nice way ."Remember what i said,another quarrel and I'm out of here."Said my dad sounding more serious than ever.Suddenly my mum came out of shock and went to give dad a huge kiss on the lips (well it was more like a snog)and wished him good luck.I can't believe she didn't care."Honey I know they are very naughty but you should go with your word."She said sounding the least bit bothered.Then she went to give him another snog this time even longer.He promised to come and visit but he thinks its time for a change.
Now we have to live in grandma's house it's very different because we never stayed there before because mum didn't trust us.Its a New Beginning.Her house is a very small squashy house but i like it.We've gotten used to not seeing dad.He sent us a picture of him and his girlfriend.At the back it said she is 2 month's pregnant.We ripped it and put it in a fire.Me and Emily agreed we have nothing to do with him.We are nice to each other now.School is not so bad our topic this term is to join junior word voodoo!
A Difficult Journey
Rosa was 17. She hated her life in her skanky council estate flat. Every morning she woke up to smells of cigarettes and sounds of arguements. She had a 3year old child who she raised by herself as her boyfriend walked out on her.
She didn't show her hate for the gritty place although it's clear anyone would hate it.
One day Rosa decided she was tired of life, her flat, her moaning child and her "wake up calls" so she packed her bags and left the flat. She called her mother even though she was a complete mess, to look after Alex, her daughter.
Rosa wandered down the High St trying to think of where to go when she came across a quite cheap travel agent. She thought about finding a holiday but realised she didn't even have enough money for food.
As she walked a few drunk blokes whisltled at her as she walked by so she just rolled her eyes and carried on. It was becoming dark. It took her some time to realise that she was no longer in Liverpool but somewhere she didn't know.
She panicked and looked around at drunk people and people who had cigarettes sticking out of their mouths. They were too busy chatting to friends to react to her. She was lost. Nowhere to go. No one to talk to.
She missed Alex, she even missed her mum. She looked even more shaken when two policemen came past. They looked across to eachother and ushered Rosa into the van and took her to the station.
They first pulled up to a Rehab, Rosa got worried knowing she wasn't addicted to drugs but it was only to pick up a fellow policeman.
When they pulled up to the station, Rosa was taken to a small room to stay the night. It wasn't at all like a cell although it was small. It was a luxury compared to her old flat. Later the next day a non familiar policeman started to talk to her. He asked her where she lived. For a strange reason she didn't remember. A thing she did remember was a man offer her a drink. She remembered taking the drink.
She told the policeman this story and described the dodgy man to him. He seemed to know this man. He was apparentely tagged. Maybe he had drugged Rosa's drink or maybe Rosa just had a hangover.
Later on the men let Rosa go. She tried to ask people where she was but then remembered the name on the police station PRESTON POLICE was stuck in her head. She had wandered into Preston. It would of obviously taken another dark night to get home but she decided to try.
So many roads intertwined and went round in circles Rosa was obviously lost. She saw a group of lads hanging around outside a corner shop, surprisingly not drinking alcohol but obviously drunk. She was brave to ask them how to get to Liverpool. They tried to tell her but their words were slurred.
She just said thanks and walked away. Soon she came back to the shop and decided to take a different route she still ended up somewhere she had been before. This was the most Difficult Journey Rosa had ever been on.
At the end of 3 days she still hadn't given up even knowing she would never find her way. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Rosa's mum forgot about Rosa as her head was a bit messed up.
ROSA STILL WANDERS THE STREETS OF PRESTON TRYING TO FIND THE WAY TO LIVERPOOL. HER DIFFICULT JOURNEY REPRESENTED HER DIFFICULT JOURNEY IN LIFE AND HER DIFFICULT JOURNEY BACK HOME.
She didn't show her hate for the gritty place although it's clear anyone would hate it.
One day Rosa decided she was tired of life, her flat, her moaning child and her "wake up calls" so she packed her bags and left the flat. She called her mother even though she was a complete mess, to look after Alex, her daughter.
Rosa wandered down the High St trying to think of where to go when she came across a quite cheap travel agent. She thought about finding a holiday but realised she didn't even have enough money for food.
As she walked a few drunk blokes whisltled at her as she walked by so she just rolled her eyes and carried on. It was becoming dark. It took her some time to realise that she was no longer in Liverpool but somewhere she didn't know.
She panicked and looked around at drunk people and people who had cigarettes sticking out of their mouths. They were too busy chatting to friends to react to her. She was lost. Nowhere to go. No one to talk to.
She missed Alex, she even missed her mum. She looked even more shaken when two policemen came past. They looked across to eachother and ushered Rosa into the van and took her to the station.
They first pulled up to a Rehab, Rosa got worried knowing she wasn't addicted to drugs but it was only to pick up a fellow policeman.
When they pulled up to the station, Rosa was taken to a small room to stay the night. It wasn't at all like a cell although it was small. It was a luxury compared to her old flat. Later the next day a non familiar policeman started to talk to her. He asked her where she lived. For a strange reason she didn't remember. A thing she did remember was a man offer her a drink. She remembered taking the drink.
She told the policeman this story and described the dodgy man to him. He seemed to know this man. He was apparentely tagged. Maybe he had drugged Rosa's drink or maybe Rosa just had a hangover.
Later on the men let Rosa go. She tried to ask people where she was but then remembered the name on the police station PRESTON POLICE was stuck in her head. She had wandered into Preston. It would of obviously taken another dark night to get home but she decided to try.
So many roads intertwined and went round in circles Rosa was obviously lost. She saw a group of lads hanging around outside a corner shop, surprisingly not drinking alcohol but obviously drunk. She was brave to ask them how to get to Liverpool. They tried to tell her but their words were slurred.
She just said thanks and walked away. Soon she came back to the shop and decided to take a different route she still ended up somewhere she had been before. This was the most Difficult Journey Rosa had ever been on.
At the end of 3 days she still hadn't given up even knowing she would never find her way. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Rosa's mum forgot about Rosa as her head was a bit messed up.
ROSA STILL WANDERS THE STREETS OF PRESTON TRYING TO FIND THE WAY TO LIVERPOOL. HER DIFFICULT JOURNEY REPRESENTED HER DIFFICULT JOURNEY IN LIFE AND HER DIFFICULT JOURNEY BACK HOME.
Monday, 19 October 2009
up all night
Up all night
One summery hot afternoon a young boy called Jackson was walking along the street feeling sad because only yesterday his 1 and only birth father had died at exactly 2.30pm and precisely 36.20 seconds. So while walked along the street trying g to imagine the day when his father walked him to school for the first time .Jackson walked along the street staring at the pavement and sighing. H e just wanted to have his father back from the dead. “I think I shall go on an adventure with jenny preferable to the theme park” whispered Jackson. Jackson thought if I am going on an adventure I must ask mum .so that what he did .he went straight to his mum to ask if he was allowed to go on an adventure “sure Jackson but please go with jenny so you can look after each other wherever you end up going and please get in the Ferrari okay mum I’ll get in the car at once”. Replied Jackson. When they arrived jenny agreed that going to the theme park as their adventure was a good idea because the theme park had just brought in 25 new rides I repeat 25 NEW RIDES. Then jenny’s mum told them to get in their new car so that she could drop them of at the theme park on her way to work. When they arrived they both ran to zoomy zoom zoom. The 150 mile an hour ride .They was just in time to go on the first public ride. When they reached the top of the ride and it was actually at its highest point the most evil man arrived...THE THEME PARK ANIMATOR. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.The ride suddenly screeched to a halt with everyone screaming like bunch of crazy screaming people! Jenny suddenly got flung out of the ride and fell 10000metres.Javkson decided to jump and try to rescue jenny luckily the ride had ropes on the sides so jenny grabbed onto one of the ropes so that Jackson could grab the other rope that would hopefully lower them to safety. Thanks to the ropes they survived but their time at the theme park had only just begun they decided to try and kill THE THEME PARK ANIMATOR. They chased him and cornered him but they just couldn’t kill him finally they got him cornered in a very awkward place the front ticket desk. They kicked him they punched him but he did not die so they ended up shooting him with water[ by the way water dissolves theme park animators] then suddenly he dropped dead and dissolved .suddenly jenny mum arrived to take them home they decided to not tell their parents about their adventure. The next day they both wanted to have another adventure .They decided to go into the city of Pompeii and climb the volcano Vesuvius. First we must walk to the time travel station to get the regular time traveling machine to Pompeii. Remember all the other adventure s we’ve been on together. Let me list them all: The theme park animator, the alien of doom, the devil and finally crulla de vill doom town [the scariest], the devil roller powered by steam. Jenny here’s the train come on aren’t you coming. “Sure I’ll come with you. Do you want to know about Vesuvius before we arrive?”Said jenny. “Sure I do” said Jackson. “The facts of Vesuvius boiling lava and its very high” said jenny. “Let’s get off now were here” Jackson said let’s get climbing jenny exclaimed they climbed until jenny fell into the volcano. “HELP ME” jenny called out to Jackson. “Grab my hand and I will pull you to safety” Jackson shouted. I’ve got your hand now pull me. Said jenny. “I’m pulling hurray you’re back lets run and catch the last time travel machine back to London” exclaimed Jackson. What an adventure Jackson and jenny had.
One summery hot afternoon a young boy called Jackson was walking along the street feeling sad because only yesterday his 1 and only birth father had died at exactly 2.30pm and precisely 36.20 seconds. So while walked along the street trying g to imagine the day when his father walked him to school for the first time .Jackson walked along the street staring at the pavement and sighing. H e just wanted to have his father back from the dead. “I think I shall go on an adventure with jenny preferable to the theme park” whispered Jackson. Jackson thought if I am going on an adventure I must ask mum .so that what he did .he went straight to his mum to ask if he was allowed to go on an adventure “sure Jackson but please go with jenny so you can look after each other wherever you end up going and please get in the Ferrari okay mum I’ll get in the car at once”. Replied Jackson. When they arrived jenny agreed that going to the theme park as their adventure was a good idea because the theme park had just brought in 25 new rides I repeat 25 NEW RIDES. Then jenny’s mum told them to get in their new car so that she could drop them of at the theme park on her way to work. When they arrived they both ran to zoomy zoom zoom. The 150 mile an hour ride .They was just in time to go on the first public ride. When they reached the top of the ride and it was actually at its highest point the most evil man arrived...THE THEME PARK ANIMATOR. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.The ride suddenly screeched to a halt with everyone screaming like bunch of crazy screaming people! Jenny suddenly got flung out of the ride and fell 10000metres.Javkson decided to jump and try to rescue jenny luckily the ride had ropes on the sides so jenny grabbed onto one of the ropes so that Jackson could grab the other rope that would hopefully lower them to safety. Thanks to the ropes they survived but their time at the theme park had only just begun they decided to try and kill THE THEME PARK ANIMATOR. They chased him and cornered him but they just couldn’t kill him finally they got him cornered in a very awkward place the front ticket desk. They kicked him they punched him but he did not die so they ended up shooting him with water[ by the way water dissolves theme park animators] then suddenly he dropped dead and dissolved .suddenly jenny mum arrived to take them home they decided to not tell their parents about their adventure. The next day they both wanted to have another adventure .They decided to go into the city of Pompeii and climb the volcano Vesuvius. First we must walk to the time travel station to get the regular time traveling machine to Pompeii. Remember all the other adventure s we’ve been on together. Let me list them all: The theme park animator, the alien of doom, the devil and finally crulla de vill doom town [the scariest], the devil roller powered by steam. Jenny here’s the train come on aren’t you coming. “Sure I’ll come with you. Do you want to know about Vesuvius before we arrive?”Said jenny. “Sure I do” said Jackson. “The facts of Vesuvius boiling lava and its very high” said jenny. “Let’s get off now were here” Jackson said let’s get climbing jenny exclaimed they climbed until jenny fell into the volcano. “HELP ME” jenny called out to Jackson. “Grab my hand and I will pull you to safety” Jackson shouted. I’ve got your hand now pull me. Said jenny. “I’m pulling hurray you’re back lets run and catch the last time travel machine back to London” exclaimed Jackson. What an adventure Jackson and jenny had.
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Task 6: Another piece of prose fiction
There was some really good writing on Task 5...
...but there was also a lot of room for improvement for many of you (and, as you know, some pupils didn't post an attempt at all).
Therefore, the most sensible choice for Task 6 is obvious: you need to write ANOTHER piece of prose fiction, following the same rules and recommendations as Task 5 - just with a new title...and EVEN better writing!
Please make sure you follow these instructions VERY carefully, ensuring you complete EACH part:
Good luck!
englishguru
...but there was also a lot of room for improvement for many of you (and, as you know, some pupils didn't post an attempt at all).
Therefore, the most sensible choice for Task 6 is obvious: you need to write ANOTHER piece of prose fiction, following the same rules and recommendations as Task 5 - just with a new title...and EVEN better writing!
Please make sure you follow these instructions VERY carefully, ensuring you complete EACH part:
- Read again carefully through Task 5 itself. Click HERE to go straight there. Make sure you think carefully about what I said I was looking for.
- Now read again your own attempt (if you did one) - and, most importantly, the comments you received. Make sure you are crystal clear what you did well, and what could have been done differently. How could you improve on it next time?
- Next read ALL the other attempts at Task 5 - and, again, most importantly, ALL the comments they received. Try and get a clear picture of what suggestions the OTHER moderators were giving: how could the OTHER pupils have improved their writing too?
- Once you have completed Steps 1-3, now you should be able to make a list - perhaps on a piece of paper - of all the things you need to remember when writing your Task 6: all the things you need to do to make your next piece of writing as AMAZING as possible.
- Finally, choose one of the following titles and plan carefully what you are going to write this time. Once you have got some ideas, you can write a first draft of your story - again, around 200-300 words.
- NOW you can check through your work to make sure it a) does EVERYTHING your moderators and I have asked for; and b) is totally accurate as well, in terms of spelling, punctuation and grammar. THEN you are ready to post it on the blog.
- A Difficult Journey
- Up All Night
- The Locked Door
- A New Beginning
Good luck!
englishguru
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